power outage fun

In the last month, we've had approximately 4.5 power outages for no apparent reason. Most of them have occurred while we are all at work, and tend to extend into the evening until all we can see are the headlights outside.

And when power outages occur, all sixteen of us are in a FOUL MOOD.

Last night was one of those nights when the power would have been more welcome than a day off from work. Honestly. If it were not for the wine and melting ice cream cake, we would have bitten each other's heads off. And we would have enjoyed it.

Unfortunately, my forensic science class began yesterday and the reading is going to be excruciatingly intense. I got home from work, ran up the four flights of stairs to my room, and opened my door thinking I could get started on the reading, only to find out that my room was no longer a room, it was a sauna in the Sahara. I coughed in the heat, quickly shut my blinds to the sun's kisses, practically got naked, and moseyed downstairs to the kitchen with my textbooks.

What does a sane person decide to have for dinner in the midst of a power outage? A grilled cheese and tomato soup, of course. Who wouldn't want a sweltering hot dinner in a sweltering hot house? I open the tomato soup, pour it in a pan, open the fridge (which is sacrilegious when there is no power, BTW) and grab my sweating milk to pour in the pan. THEN REALIZE OUR STOVE IS NOT WORKING.

Flustered that I just wasted my ONLY CAN OF DELICIOUS TOMATO SOUP, I scream up the stairs in a panic.

WHO WANTS PIZZA, YA'LL?

 The girls come running and I hand them the phone (because I don't make calls if I'm not bleeding or dying), and we order a large cheese for delivery.

I try to read in the dining room, but Amanda is trying to teach Lipy how to play Rummy, and Lipy keeps cheating because she doesn't particularly get the game, and laughter ensues, and no reading gets done. So I retreat to the living room and practically pass out on the couch from heat exhaustion. Then the girls follow and precede to talk about their awkward 8th grade sex-ed classes. I blurt out that I was the kid who had the Fetal-Alcohol Syndrome baby who shook and cried 24/7. Laura laughed and asked how I got it to quiet down. I shook it back, of course. I mean, honestly? WHAT WOULD YOU DO AS AN EIGHTH GRADER? It was either that, or throw it out the window.

An extremely long hour later, the pizza guy calls my phone. In a thick accent, I manage to grasp that he's basically outside of the castle. I walk out of the house with Lipy's money because everyone seems to be somewhere else, and by the time I reach the car, this Hispanic man swaggers over and looks me up and down.

"Having fun, are we?"

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I want to ask him. WE'RE BAKING IN A DESERT. DO I LOOK LIKE I'M HAVING FUN?

I take the pizza and he smirks from behind his sunglasses and I chuck the money in his hand and he stands there watching me walk up the walkway. It was at that point that I realized I was wearing my house slippers, the shortest pair of shorts I could find, and a white tank top...with a bright pink bra. BEFORE YOU JUDGE, HEATS DISTORTS MY JUDGMENT. Honestly, I was disgusted with myself. But not disgusted enough to go and change. Screw that.

I shoved three pieces of pizza down my throat because I'm starving at this point, and then go for the melted ice cream cake. At this point, it's starting to get dark. We sit in the living room, and I'm still trying to desperately read for school, which is absolutely ridiculous. It's too hot to light candles, although Lipy holds one in her hand like we're at a prayer vigil. LET THERE BE LIGHT.

Finally, Laura breaks out the two flashlights she has so we can try to be responsible human beings. She hands me the crank one. So I crank the handle for approximately 30 seconds and see 4 seconds of my text before the light goes out. DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO WORK FOR MY LIGHT, WOMAN?

Ha. She switched me after she saw me having trouble keeping the light. Something about cranking it for five minutes to get an hour of light....before I had to find out, she gave me a small little flashlight like police probably use in drunk drivers' eyes. Instead of reading, shadow puppets sounded like a fantastic idea. My alligator ate Lipy's ducks.

Six hours after the power went out, it finally came back on. We all screamed with delight. AND I MEAN SCREAMED. We ran into each other to try and get up to our rooms, charge our phones, feel the cool air streaming from our vents. It was a madhouse. And then we passed out on our beds, above the covers, barely able to stay awake past ten pm.

Or maybe that was just me. I like to think of last night as a roommate bonding session. We all got to express utter contempt for so many hot bodies in one house. It was fantastic.